ila_inayah

Salam 'alaikum...

In distress, I bid farewell to this site for reasons of my own.

I am in the cause to be a better Muslim and I need time to reflect on my actions, my words and thoughts.

Please pray for my well-being, physically and spiritually, for my families, for my friends and for the Ummah. You are in my prayers too, insyaAllah.

I will still be writing, for that is my passion, and I am still keen to write in the name of Allah. I just need to focus my thoughts to a proper avenue and I need to gain more knowledge, more patience and seek inspiration.

Shukran jazakumullah khairan katsir (Thank you) for those comforting remarks to distressed entries of a confused soul, who only wants to seek Allah's pleasure. Indeed, I am only a weak human.

May we meet again, in Jannah, amin.

For my closest friends, insyaAllah I will keep in touch.



Wassalamu'alaikum wa rahmatullah,
Nabila

Salam...

I'm not very updated but I got this from Jia Yun.

Meredith and Derek's wedding page as created by Izzie :)

http://weddings.theknot.com/pwp/pwp2/view/MemberPage.aspx?coupleid=5204748318589928&pid=1733031

Nice! If this is a spoiler, I apologize but I was very crazy over GA a while back :))))

Salam 'alaikum...

am facing writer's block. And a lack of work to do. This happens when your Supervisor is out for the day. I'm trying to be initiated so I started out on my internship report.

Problem is, I think I think too much. I write too much like how I speak, which is in circles, and editing the report is no fun. Also, I'm getting so sick of looking at Word documents. Day in day out. How is typing on a piece of blank white screen supposed to create some inspiration in me? How am I supposed to be creative when this office is just a building with four walls, blinds pulled down because of too much sun, and identical work stations that make everyone appear the same from the back?

I think I am wonky today and I haven't recovered from the flu. Somehow, I crave for distractions and craving the freedom of doing anything I want from the last two days. Boo to this feeling. I could definitely use this energy to complete so much of my report so that I can concentrate on completing my Khadijah essay (yes, writing an essay for History of the Prophet Muhammad SAW module in my Sunday religious class) and studying for two papers to be scheduled this weekend.

Inertia is the worst of mental blocks, seriously. I need serious catching up on my religious studies and this obstacle doesn't help. Amin mentioned the other day that working life can be a huge dampener when we interns return to academics the next semester, and that comment scared me because I love studying. It's just time that I lack. I love the thrill of learning new things and thinking about things, but it sure isn't fun if I keep having to rush learning.

Ya Allah, help me. I'm so restless I can't stick to the screen. And abang is super-busy with his internship (I am so much grateful for mine because they understand the meaning of WORKING hours). His company is teaching him a lot but there doesn't seem to be a limit to stop work - which is what I thought of exactly when I was choosing the companies to intern in, knowing full well that private companies are merciless with their expectations.

(Apologies to friends who are in private companies. I believe you guys have more value-add than I do.)

Not to mention that I am slightly wary of my writing skills. When am I ever going to learn to write succinctly? When did this bad habit of writing around the bush come from? It is highly irritating when I try to express simple ideas on paper because they somehow come out all complex and intricate. I sure know how to crap.

Obviously PMSy,
Nabila

Salam 'alaikum...


Everybody, help me heave a sigh of 'AWWWWWW' for it has been too short a respite. What Fari said is right; I really need to take advantage of this because breaks, leaves, do not come easy. :)

I was down with a 2-day MC and have been doing the things that I've put on hold since January. Some of them being:

1) Learning how to cook with MIL dearest

Lauk lemak cili padi and kicap daging. Trust me, I know it's easy, everyone can do it yadda yadda, but I am a perfectionist. I insisted on holding the spoon, asking every bit of question I could, because it's so hard to find a teacher (we call MIL Master Chef at home) who would bother to explain much to you or elaborate on simple instructions. Perhaps it's due to her own experiences, where she also started working right after getting married and only learnt to cook on her own later on. I am VERY lucky to have her around. Alhamdulillah :)

Anyway, of course the ultimate test will come when I will cook on my own without her or my mum around. These two people are like, the BEST cooks in my life. Haha... mama's good at baking and she really rocks so learning how to bake her kuih lapis recipes are definitely one of the things I MUST do these June holidays after attachment's over. -grins- it's so satisfying, really, like a piece of art. I'm currently trying to start cross-stitching a bib for my cousin-in-law who is only 1 month old. Can't wait till he's big and old enough to dribble so that he can use my bib. Hee... met an old friend the other day and she said she wants to start informal curtain sewing classes. My art-vibe starting BLINGING and I really hope Allah will give me the taufik, the hidayah, the push and the motivation to take up the classes. Amin!



2) FACEBOOKING

Haha my husband disapproves of FB and that's understandable considering that he finds it a waste of time, and I have to partially agree. Started out on a business plan report but kept getting distracted with other people's photos, the quizzes they took. Not to mention I have so many friends request I'm not sure I know all of them.



3) Lying down in bed and slack

Wow... not to mention this flu has given me just exactly that opportunity. I remember my holidays when I would lie on the bed, open the window wide and let the afternoon breeze come in. It's one of the nikmah of Allah SWT that I really relish. I always crave for these breezes everytime I take the train from Bukit Batok. The bad thing is, the sun shines from the side of the platform I'm on and it's so warm, before I even reach Jurong East I'm already sweating so badly. Not to mention that the air is so humid!



4) Observing my MIL bringing up her youngest

Sometimes I feel I'm prepared for motherhood but looking at my MIL, I know it's otherwise. That patience, that tenderness, that consistent love showered on him. It's his exams now and she's working him hard, but she remembers to give him respite and reminds him to seek help from Allah SWT. Sometimes I'd just sit and listen to them in one corner and eavesdrop on their conversation. I think old-time mothers really know how to handle their kids and it's very enjoyable to hear them speak. I can only pray that Allah will bless me with that opportunity to be a good mom to her children. Amin... :)



For those who know, thank you for the du'as, jazakumullah khairan katsir, and May Allah bless all of you... for indeed, Allah blesses the supplications made by God-loving individuals and those who love his/her brother or sister with the sincerest love only for Allah's sake. My husband has obtained what I mentioned before, Alhamdulillah, and I am really happy for him, subhanAllah. Do continue providing your du'as for indeed, the more you receive, the more your responsibilities.

We are very humbled with this gift and indeed, we keep our Ummah in our prayers. May Allah bless everyone too :) Amin ya Rabb'alamin.


Wallahua'lam.

Salam 'alaikum warahmatullah...

I caught myself counting down till the last day of my internship and I choked with disappointment at myself.

How is it that something Allah has given me so abundantly, for six whole months, can be wished obsolete by me? How could I forget that every single rezeki that He gives to me is always an opportunity for da'wah, for tasbih, for dzikir, for ibadah. How is it that I have forgotten the principle of syukur (gratefulness)? How is it that I have abandoned my principle of using all that Allah has granted me to good use to help the Ummah?

Somehow, as I reflected over recent events, I realise how far and distant I feel from Allah SWT. I used to have conversations with Him in my head, where I regard Him as my companion. I remember floating through life, so strong, with His love as my suit of armour, to protect my heart, my emotions, from sadness, disappointment and all the negative things that Mankind can affect.

I feel so far away from Him. Right now, in this crowded office with so many people walking about, the one thing I miss doing and wish I could do right now is to prostrate to Allah and seek His kind grace.

I saw a quote on Ameera's blog and I almost kicked myself:

It is when you are distant from God that you crave what is distant from God.

How true can that be? When was the last time I attended a majlis ilmu (knowledge gaining session)? When was the last time I felt enlightened?

I feel ashamed of myself for voicing out my pains, my frustrations, so much these past few weeks. For indeed, those who talk constantly of their sufferings are those who are weak.

Images flash through my head and I keep being reminded of those magical moments when I read Tariq Ramadan's Messenger. Stories of the Prophet SAW jolt through my head as I remember the suffering he went through as a Prophet and how reading those stories made me so strong and I admired him so much. I felt so close to the Prophet SAW.

Ya Allah I feel so distant from You, ya Rabb. Even as I prostrate on my prayer mat during lunch hour, I know that the office has never been the best place to fulfill my prayers. And yet somehow, as a vicegerent or khalifah, I need to be a role model, a reference point, for other people to know what a Muslim is.

No doubt I have my flaws and my misgivings. But I am not here to justify myself, because I feel I have given myself too much "face". I really envy those who are constantly basking in Allah's love. He has abundantly bless them with the opportunity to seek more knowledge from Him.

Once again, I know that I am threading on a delicate line here. Because I know He, too, has given me loads of opportunities. But I choose to measure my opportunities with such poor benchmarks.

I really pray that Allah perpetually guide me and my families. And for the physical tiredness, the mental fatigue that I am experiencing right now, I really pray that Allah reminds me and instills in me to make Him my world. And for all the tangible things in this world, may He only allow them to be in my hands, but not in my heart.



A lot of things have happened to me and I am not going to deny that things have been difficult. In fact, these episodes show that no one is superhuman and we all need some external power, energy, to prevent ourselves from being disillusioned with the bads of this life. It is also evidence that we cry, we love and we pray very hard just to keep the people we love close, physically to us. But love may not be in the form, or the idea, that we think it is. For love can exist in another sphere only known to its practitioner.

Do keep my family in your prayers and do make du'a that my family and I, and also with you and your families, will head to the doors of Jannah together.

And for all the difficult things in this life, may Allah ease our paths, take care of our hearts, bind our hearts with His love and head towards the good together.


Amin ya Rabb'alamin.


:)

Salam 'alaikum,

apologise for this article as it's written in Malay, but the mother and teacher of the two top Ngee Ann Poly madrasah student is my religious class classmate :) She has totally inspired me to be a good mother and a good teacher. InsyaAllah :)

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Dua dianugerah Pingat Emas dan masuk Senarai Dekan Ngee Ann Poly

Oleh
Siti Aisyah Sa'id

TIGA tahun lalu, mereka muncul sebagai antara pelajar madrasah terbaik dalam peperiksaan Sijil Am Pelajaran (GCE) peringkat 'O'.

Semalam, Cik Haseenah Mohamed Yusoff, 19 tahun, dan Cik Hazwani Rahim, 20 tahun, membuktikan pelajar madrasah boleh juga mencapai kecemerlangan di politeknik.

Mereka mendapat Pingat Emas dalam majlis konvokesyen Politeknik Ngee Ann. Pingat Emas diberi kepada pelajar terbaik daripada setiap jurusan yang mencapai kecemerlangan dalam kedua-dua bidang, akademik dan kokurikulum.

Kedua-duanya terpilih juga untuk disertakan dalam Senarai Dekan kerana tergolong dalam kalangan pelajar terbaik setiap tahun.

Cik Haseenah, lulusan Kejuruteraan Persekitaran dan Sivil, berkata pada mulanya beliau bimbang tidak dapat menyesuaikan diri dengan persekitaran baru di politeknik.

Beliau juga bimbang sukar diterima rakan-rakan kerana perbezaan latar belakang pendidikan mereka.

"Namun kesukaran yang dihadapi telah membakar semangat saya untuk mencuba sedaya upaya.

"Saya juga beruntung kerana pensyarah dan rakan-rakan di politeknik bukan sahaja banyak membantu bahkan memberi dorongan kepada saya," ujar bekas pelajar Madrasah Wak Tanjong itu.

Beliau memilih jurusan itu setelah minatnya disemai ibunya, Cik Safiaton Alias, 44 tahun, yang menggalak keluarganya mengitar semula barangan terpakai.

Cik Safiaton, guru Geografi di Madrasah Al-Arabiah, menyediakan empat kotak untuk mereka mengetepikan barang-barang yang boleh dikitar, seperti plastik, kertas, kaca dan sebagainya.

Cik Haseenah mendapat enam gred A dan satu gred B dalam peperiksaan GCE peringkat 'O'.

Walaupun layak memasuki maktab rendah, anak kedua daripada lima adik-beradik itu memilih Politeknik Ngee Ann.

Beliau bercita-cita menjadi seorang saintis atau jurutera dan bercadang melanjutkan pelajaran di Universiti Nasional Singapura (NUS) dalam jurusan Kejuruteraan Persekitaran.

Cik Hazwani pula lulusan Pengurusan Hortikultur dan Landskap. Beliau memilih bidang itu kerana minat akan isu-isu alam sekitar dan kesannya terhadap dunia.

Beliau mendapat tujuh gred A dalam peperiksaan GCE peringkat 'O'.

"Guru saya di Madrasah Al-Arabiah, iaitu Cikgu Safiaton (ibu Cik Haseenah), mengambil pendekatan amat berbeza dalam menyemai minat kami terhadap mata palejaran Geografi.

"Ia menyedarkan saya tentang pemanasan global dan kepentingan tanam-tanaman dalam kehidupan manusia," ujar Cik Hazwani.

Beliau merancang melanjutkan pelajaran dalam jurusan Sains Gunaan di Universiti Queensland, Australia, Julai ini.

Bagi para pelajar madrasah beliau menasihatkan:

"Jangan mudah berputus asa atau pandang rendah akan kebolehan diri sendiri kerana dengan usaha gigih, azam dan doa, setiap yang diinginkan lambat laun akan tercapai."

-------------------------------------------------

This tale has also inspired me to be a better student. I have one more year to go to enjoy my education, to relish the knowledge that Allah will be giving me. Suddenly, I feel sad for those times when I did not perform well enough by my standards due circumstances.

But once again, I dislike the fact that we measure students from the madrasahs with our secular standards. Gone are the days where people are free to choose what they want to study and which path they want to take. We are such one-minded people.

Much to say later,
Nabila <3

Salam 'alaikum...

I am very touched with these words. Very fit for married people -grins- I hope you don't mind me quoting you, ielvanoin. :) Loved the writings on your blog.

Will attempt to translate into English soon insyaAllah! :D

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Kanda,

Akulah pengantinmu.

Dan selalu kumenjadi pengantinmu. Hingga kutemui ujung usiaku.

Aku begitu serasi ketika tidur di sampingmu. Aku merasa damai ketika memejamkan mataku. Aku merasa aman menyadari engkau menemaniku. Aku merasa cantik di hadapanmu. Aku begitu berharga hidup bersamamu.

Engkau akan menemukan senyuman indah saat engkau membukakan mata dari kepulasan tidurmu. Engkau akan menemukan diriku sebagai orang pertama yang menyapamu ketika tirai malam mulai terangkat. Engkau akan merasakan bahwa akulah orang pertama yang bertutur penuh hangat.

Akulah orang pertama yang tak henti mendoakan untuk kebaikanmu. Aku orang pertama yang bersedia mendengarkan resah gelisahmu. Akulah yang menerima apa adanya dirimu.

. . . karena aku adalah pengantinmu. Selalu. Selamanya.

Salam 'alaikum...

Lull at the workplace and the albeit gloomy weather left me room for reflections over my long weekend.

Allah is Beautiful and hence, so are His creatons. His world is so enormous and has been the home to gazillions of Mankind. Allah makes the world so pretty and delicate, yet majestic and grand.

Alhamdulillah, NTUMS spent the weekend at the Masjid Pertempatan Sembawang (or Malay Settlement Sembawang Mosque). We had reflections after reflections, discussions, talks and motivation sessions. Tears were shed, peals of laughter rang through my head, and the beauty of the vegetation around me calmed my senses. So much so that when I woke this morning, I was surprised it was already Monday.

A lot of bonds were tied during the camp and it is only my sincerest hope and plea to Allah SWT to strengthen the bonds, raise them high in His eyes and fill them with the seeds of peace and love :) His Rahmah. Ameen...

Despite the cancellation of the Sisters ReCharge programme, which I was really looking forward to, the time spent with the sisters during Blast Off made me feel that I had a Muslimah camp on my own somewhat, despite the overpowering numbers of the males on the other side.

We returned home on Saturday night very tired but feeling exceptionally blessed. Alhamdulillah...

No doubt BO left a deep gash in my head. I'm forced to face the things that I have been avoiding or neglecting. The true love of family, the responsibilities that I shirk in reflex because of my intrinsic fears, the little naughty and evil thoughts that can arise from your unconscious when you least expect it - something we know who to blame. But most importantly, how strong are you? How can so many people do good things and feel so motivated and achieve what they want for the pleasure of Allah while you feel like you have been struggling to do many things but never achieve His pleasure?

Again, family time is so important. Spent Sunday with Abang's family and I always learn more about them. Visiting grandma at AMK and laughing with the cousins-in-laws. A late lunch with the family, filled with teasings. And then a short shopping date with Kakak at the Redhill warehouse sale while waiting for Abang to come.

Kakak officially returned for good early last week, accompanied with two trolleys of stuff from Cairo. Haha :) That's what I call shopping queen. Jazakillah kak for the stuff you have gave me. When I talk to kakak I feel the same vibes when I speak to my other sisters. InsyaAllah do pray that kakak and I will develop a strong bond together and our hearts are bound together with Allah's rahmah. Let there not be any mishaps or sadness to exist between us and only lovelovelove from Him. Amin...

From talking to Kakak, it has also inspired the wanderlust in me. Some parts of me knows that my love for travelling is deep-setted. She was telling me about her trips (TRIPS!) to Mount Sinai (the mount where Nabi Musa communed with Allah- Read here: http://www.geographia.com/egypt/Sinai/mtsinai.htm) and she said how she wished her brothers could join in too. That was when we decided to urge all the siblings to save enough money to Sinai! Wooottttt! Haha! :) I love her stories about Cairo too and it beats reading about Egypt from Ayat-Ayat Cinta (hoho).

It's back to a hectic week but MAY'S finally here. Only 1 month 20 days to go to the holidays and 2 months plus to August, where I get to embrace my long-lost love (read: academia) again insyaAllah.

Have a blessed week... :)

Salam...

Source: http://www.coldplay.com/newsdetail.php?id=388

Good morning. We're pleased to announce that Coldplay will be giving away a live CD, LeftRightLeftRightLeft, at every remaining live show in 2009 (apart from festival shows). Starting with the band's first North American tour date, at West Palm Beach in Florida on May 15th, every fan attending a show will be given a free copy of the nine-track CD, which won't be available elsewhere. Also on May 15th, LeftRightLeftRightLeft will be made available as a free download right here at Coldplay.com, for all fans (and for the same time period).

According to the band, the give-away is meant as a recession-busting mark of gratitude to everyone who's supported them: "Playing live is what we love. This album is a thank you to our fans – the people who give us a reason to do it and make it happen."

The album was recorded over the past year in various cities around the world on the Viva La Vida tour. Its tracklisting is as follows:

1. Glass of Water
2. 42
3. Clocks
4. Strawberry Swing
5. The Hardest Part/Postcards From Far Away
6. Viva La Vida
7. Death Will Never Conquer
8. Fix You
9. Death And All His Friends

The Difference

I got up early one morning

and rushed right into the day;

I had so much to accomplish

that I didn’t have time to pray.

Problems just tumbled about me,

and heavier came each task,

“Why doesn’t God help me?”

I wondered,

He answered, “You didn’t ask”.


I wanted to see joy and beauty,

but the day toiled on grey and bleak,

I wondered why God didn’t show me,

He said, “You didn’t seek”.

I tried to come into God’s presence;

I used all my keys at the lock.

God gently and lovingly chided,

“My child, you didn’t knock”.


I woke up early this morning,

and paused before entering the day;

I had so much to accomplish

that I had to take time to pray.

Salam,

got this from an email forward. I like it :) Alhamdulillah... pass it on!

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SHALL WE NOT BE THANKFUL?
Posted
by: "Khalid" kla@ashpak.com klatif382000
Thu Apr 23, 2009 5:34 pm (PDT)

SHALL WE NOT BE THANKFUL?

If eyesight was
a human invention, its inventor would send us bills detailing all the wonders
we've seen, the sights we've visited, the steps we've read, and the people
we've met. The bill would go on and on. Considering the high price we'd have to
pay for just being able to see, only the extremely rich would be able to afford
this luxury product called eyes.

Let us now
consider the blessings of our tongues. Again, another very profitable area if
humans invented it. They would place the price tag as high as they could and
feel fully justified—imagine all the communication we would be doing with their
product! Phone bills are typical examples of making money off our tongues: when
we do not pay the bills, service is terminated—No more talking on the phone.
Imagine no more talking with your tongue if you forgot to pay your tongue-bill.

Eyesight and
speech are only two of the many priceless blessings Allah has given us for
free. All we are asked in return is to be thankful. And even in this we are not
compelled by force. But if we chose ingratitude we commit a massive injustice.

Without
eyesight, the pleasures of this world are non-existent. An affluent blind man,
for example, would surely exchange all his fortune for the ability to see. This
blessing of sight alone is worth all the money in the world, but Allah has so
graciously given it to us without charge.

On business
trips, the company covers the cost of food, lodging, and travel. If we use the
company's money to buy stereo systems for all our friends, they would refuse to
cover the cost and our jobs would be in danger because of our abuse of the
privilege.
Now imagine if Allah, the Majestic, treated us the way same our employers do,
immediately revoking our privileges us after we've erred, or even terminating
our contracts. We'd all be dead in a flash. For we forever abuse the gifts and
blessings He has given us. We use our tongues in ways that displease Him, such
as in backbiting, lying, and swearing. And we continue to abuse the gift of
eyesight and allow our gazes to wander to sights He has forbidden. The company
would fire these employees straight off. But Allah doesn't fire anyone (pun
intended) straight off. He, the most Forbearing, gives us chance after chance.

Here is another
way to look at it. Say you had been a paying customer of a cell-phone service
for ten years, your service would be terminated the moment you can no longer
pay, despite the thousands of dollars you've paid in the past. Yet, Allah does
not even take anything from us, and instead overlooks our mistakes and
ingratitude. Is there any company in the world that will continue providing
services to people who refuse to pay? Yet that is exactly what Allah does,
except His service is the gift of life.

Allah does not
send us monthly bills or 'fire" us the way an employer would. He is all
aware of our abuses but allows us to use His favour. When someone does a good
deed for us, we are so thankful and try to return the favour. Should we not
feel compelled to please Allah?

Considering all
that He has given us, despite our faults. And He continues to give us so many
changes, so we may be able to recognize that and show Him gratitude.
The worst a company can do is discontinuing our services, charge late fees, and
send collection agencies after us. Yet, eventually, we can just go to another
company for service, just like we can look for another job if we get fired.
However, what will happen on the Day of Judgment when a lifetime of abusing the
many favours we've been given may prevent us from entering Paradise? There is
no other Paradise to apply for. There is certainly no other Lord to implore.

An early Muslim
once said, "(Thankfulness) is to not use His favours for the purpose of
disobeying Him".

So let us
pledge to devote our lives to actions pleasing to Allah, the source of all our
bounties. That is indeed, the best way to express our gratitude.
(Courtesy: Al Jumuah Magazine)

Compiled,
edited and adapted by Khalid Latif

Salam 'alaikum...

May Allah always provide me with the nikmah of remembering Him at any nook and cranny.

One of the examles of this I can bring up is how when I'm facing a difficult task at work, or something that seems impossible to achieve, He always brings me surprises and make the impossible eventually possible.

SubhanAllah walhamdulillah wa laailahaillAllah :)

I really feel ashamed for those times when I was flustered because I wished I had been more patient, more accepting and more hopeful towards Allah. I pray that this sweetness will accompany me in all aspects of my life, amin. :)

Have a good day at work/exam hall/kitchen/home, or anywhere else for that matter. :)

I wish I can sujud syukur now,
Nabs

Salam 'alaikum...




:) I wanted to write a 100 day tribute to us but it seems that I was too swallowed with work and life's routines and went through the hundredth day without affair. Felt a little disappointed but I guess Day 114 will do, no? I'm not sure why I want to do this but it's probably because the day we fulfilled half our deen passed by too fast. Believe it or not, my pictures are still not printed and are saved on Abg's hard drive. My thank you cards are still in their packs and I'm a bit too ashamed to send them out now. Sighs.

But nonetheless, this is a tribute to my husband of 114 days, and insyaAllah for many more hundred days to come.

Firstly, I thank you for being the guiding light in my life, for constantly reminding me to be closer to Allah and most importantly, to fill my head with thoughts of Him every single minute.

I love how you smile all the time, and you are rarely flustered (except of course when you are restless and you want to go jogging or when you start rubbing your eyes because you are sleepy). Your tenang nature can make me go crazy because I have no idea where you squeeze out all that peace from and the world needs more people like you.

I dream of having our own home fit with homey cushions and sofas, lovely translucent pink curtains, cooking you lovely meals (which I am painstakingly and slowly trying to master) and of course taking care of you till old age, but I know that we have a long way to go together and us and our room suffice for now as our heaven on Earth. I pray that Allah bless me with the strength and the inspiration to always be a loving wife to you, to constantly be your comfort and strength especially during difficult days.

I know I have my flaws and sometimes you go crazy because of them, but thank you, and Alhamdulillah to Allah SWT, for never making me feel stupid. For respecting my thoughts and giving me the space and the leeway to develop as a Muslimah. For allowing me to contribute my strengths to the community and for being my wall of support when I get down in the dumps. I can only be that much grateful to Allah for granting me a supporting spouse and I can only pray that Allah bless you with a great Hereafter (even better if I'm there too ;) ). InsyaAllah... Ameen.

Though it'll be a long while before we embark on another honeymoon (who says you can only have one?), I pray that our memories will always be kept alive and burning in our hearts and minds.

The thinkfamily.sg ad really touched me and at once I thought of you. And of course, you are my beautifully imperfect hero. I hope I am the same (heroine) to you.

I can go on and on and I can imagine you shaking your head in wonderment, as you always do when I rant and rave every night about my day, or about something that bothered me, or about those issues only you would be patient enough to understand, giving your little smile of amusement and your eyes slowly turning red as you try very hard to not fall asleep in front of your (naggy) wife. So I am going to stop here and try my best to stand tall and proud, but knowing that deep down inside, I truly trust you and my tawakkal is to Allah that He has provided us with what's best for each of us.

Ameen and may we have loving children who will be the light of our eyes and the Ummah.

(Oh btw, dear Allah, can you please make my husband eat more fruits?)


Love,
Nabila :)
14 April 2009

Salam 'alaikum,

was shared this email by someone. Hope it touched you like it did to me, and bring you benefit and food for thought. Amin.

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There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind , She
hated everyone , except her loving boyfriend , He was always
there for her , She told her boyfriend ,
( If I could only see
the world , I will marry you )

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her.
When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her
boyfriend.

He asked her: "Now that you can see the world , will you marry me ?"

The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind too. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears.
Days later wrote a note to her saying :

"Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine."

This is how the human brain often works. When our status changes,
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift of ALLAH.

Today before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't
speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone
who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone
who's crying out to ALLAH for a companion.

Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went
too early to heaven.

Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who
walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the
unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.


---------------------------------------------------------

Salam 'alaik...

Sometimes, I linger back to negative thoughts. The cynicism.

Being born again and relishing the pleasure were things that I have always appreciated ever since I started on this journey. Alhamdulillah, nothing is more liberating than knowing that life has a bigger picture, that after all, my existence in this world has a deeper meaning than the literal.

This new life comes with being realistic; my temperament had improved, my sabr (patience) has increased. And, I thought, facing my own weaknesses had become so much easier. I thought I had become more accepting of myself.

Yet, landing into new situations has made me realise (and this still surprises me so) that the old still lingers. My facial expressions are still cramped, my frowns are still aplenty. And despite knowing that I will be misconstrued for many things (i.e. my extremely perfectionist nature, my lack of confidence, and my control-freak side) I still fail.

Abang, a very happy person, always gives me the advice that being happy and forcing myself to smile is always a successful first step to not make people thing wrongly about me. Why would I want people to perceive me as that bossy, control-freak, arrogant lady when i know deep down how much I love everyone around me? How do I make this literal facade disappear and put myself as a person who loves others?

I have a feeling I might have just hurt someone without even trying hard enough, without even knowing, because I was too caught up with my own thoughts and emotions. If there was a medicine for this, I swear by Allah that I would take it. Because for me, once I know I have done something wrong, I don't know what to do after that. And I have a knack for losing the key people in my life because I didn't try hard enough.

I hate this side of me, I really do. And I know that not everyone can understand me in just a few months. And most importantly, I need to stop thinking it's all about me. I need to stop.

Allah, forgive me. Friend, I hope you don't leave me thinking of me as what I think you do. Because I feel for you. And I believe in lasting friendships.

Ya Rabb... again I have failed. I pray that You not be ashamed of my actions, and I pray that You guide me. I really seek You.

I don't know what to do... :'(

Salam 'alaik....


-BIGHUGEGRINS- Do you know how much I'm enjoying myself today? It's because it's a FREE saturday. Where I get to be a normal person and do normal things. Eh wait, of course when I work, those are normal things too. But I think what I meant here is, to do normal LEISURE things. The last time I did this was about a month back and that was a fruitful Saturday spent watching my (virgin) Hindhi movie with abang's family. That was hilarious because I knew that Hindi movies are sappy and I will definitely cry but I cheated by hiding behind abang and trying not to sniff. But there was this scene in Kal Ho Naa Ho where the lead actress and actor finally showed they loved each other but the lead actor was about to die anytime (I now understand why people think Shah Rukh Khan rocks. He can carry many characters!) and she was about to be married to someone else. Haha but I couldn't take it then and i just cried loudly and Mak joined in, with Ayah and Abang laughing at us.

Boo. Men can be so mean sometimes :P


Anyways today is another GREAT Saturday. Last week's was spent at TMSN camp which was fab but nothing beats sleeping in. Many people can attest to me falling asleep with(out) shame during Dr Bakri's talk. What a waste :( But ah wells... got to sleep in a bit today after bustling Abang to get ready for the MUIS Workplan seminar and I had some shut-eye for about 45 mins (ALHAMDULILLAH! NIKMAH! Hehe on new bedsheets somemore. One of those useful wedding presents) :) and then followed Mak to Bukit Gombak Pasar.

I have to say though. I'm so used to Tampines but I really am cherishing my time here in Bukit Batok. There's just something peaceful here, the lack of high rise buildings and the plethora of very nicely built landed properties and the condos, and the quaint and cool flats which I reside in one. There's just something lulling about sitting back and relaxing at Habib Restaurant (our usual dating hangout once a week) and drinking ice teh while looking around you. There are pretty many Malay families around here and their joy and bustle remind me of Geylang. True enough, Mak just shared with me that Gombak (very near B. Batok) is similar to Geylang in many ways and you can find many things here that you would find in Geylang. And there were a lot of stalls owned by Malays here too, which is a blessing Alhamdulillah! It's not funny thinking about traveling to Geylang from here - a very LONG bus ride :)

And there's this little granite mountain here called Little Guilin. Definitely not little at all! Very peaceful... there's a lake surrounding it and apparently those Chinese productions that feature old time China would have their filming here because, really, it is a piece that is so not Singapore (think Metropolitan). And at night, it's really beautiful. When we take bus 945 from our bus stop and then the bus zooms into the main street parallel to Little Guilin, I'm reminded of Ms Kon's gothic sublime. MasyaAllah Allahu Rabbi :)

So what am I off to today? Did a little bit of laundry and going to do some work. I'm quite sad it's already Noon but you know what? Good things should come in small amounts so that I'll always be looking forward to it.

I keep you in my prayers and may everyone have a blessed, peaceful day. Amin :)



Wassalam,
Nab <3

Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday
And today was such a lovely day,
that I wondered why I worried about today yesterday
So today I am not going to worry about tomorrow
There may not be a tomorrow anyway
So today I am going to live as if there is no tomorrow
And I am going to forget about yesterday.

Today is the tomorrow I planned for yesterday
And nearly all my plans for today did not plan out the way I thought they would yesterday
So today I am forgetting about tomorrow and I will plan for today
But not too strenuously
Today I will stop to smell a rose
I will tell a loved one how much I love her
I will stop planning for tomorrow and plan to make today the best day of my life.

Today is the tomorrow I was afraid of yesterday
And today was nothing to be afraid of
So today I will banish fear of the unknown
I will embrace the unknown as a learning experience full of exciting opportunities
Today, unlike yesterday I will not fear tomorrow.

Today is the tomorrow I dreamed about yesterday
And some of the dreams I dreamt about yesterday came true today
So today I am going to continue dreaming about tomorrow
And perhaps more of the dreams I dream today will come true tomorrow.

Today is the tomorrow I set goals for yesterday
And I reached some of those goals today
So today I am going to set slightly higher goals for today and tomorrow
And if tomorrow turns out to be like today
I will certainly reach all of my goals one day!

SAYA merujuk tulisan Encik Mohd Raman Daud bertajuk Bangkitkan kaum bapa Melayu (BH, 12 Mac). Saya bersetuju dengan pendapatnya tentang persoalan masyarakat bermula daripada kepimpinan.

Masalah kepimpinan ini pula sangat berkait rapat dengan ilmu yang dimiliki serta kemampuan meletakkan diri di tempat yang wajar.

Dalam mencari penyelesaian kepada permasalahan ini, perkara utama yang perlu diselesaikan dulu ialah yang berkaitan dengan adab. Ia merujuk kepada kemampuan mengenali diri sendiri serta berperanan setepatnya.

Kekeliruan ilmu yang melanda masyarakat secara meluas menjadi punca kekeliruan peranan. Ini melahirkan apa yang disebut Profesor Syed Muhd Naquib Al-Attas sebagai 'pemimpin palsu' dalam banyak bidang kehidupan.

Tujuan menuntut ilmu telah diubah kepada memperolehi jawatan dan kehidupan mewah dan bukan lagi menjadi manusia yang baik.

Jelas kekeliruan ini melahirkan golongan yang cekap dalam bidang kerjaya, tetapi muflis dari segi rohani, akhlak dan moral.

Daripada kelompok ini, lahirnya bakal pemimpin keluarga yang pincang. Mereka tidak memahami konsep penting agama seperti kebijaksanaan, kesederhanaan, keberanian dan keadilan.

Kaum lelaki yang diberikan peranan sebagai pemimpin sewajarnya sedar tentang tanggungjawab ini.

Oleh itu, sejak kecil lagi, bimbingan yang diberikan kepada anak lelaki haruslah menjurus kepada perlaksanaan tugas ini.

Pemantauan yang berkesan perlu bagi memastikan fitrah semula jadi anak lelaki itu tidak dipesongkan oleh pengaruh negatif yang datang daripada luar.

Anak lelaki digalakkan melibatkan diri dalam kegiatan yang lebih sesuai dengan pertumbuhan fizikal, emosi dan mental mereka.

Imam Ghazali memberikan nasihat kepada ibu bapa:

'Pemeliharaan ialah mendidik, mencerdaskan dan mengajarinya budi pekerti yang baik, menjaganya daripada teman jahat, tidak dibiasakan dengan kesenangan, tidak disukakan dengan perhiasan dan sebab-sebab kemewahan.'

Anak lelaki perlu sering diberi semangat tentang peranan besar yang bakal dipikul kelak. Motivasi berterusan diperlukan bagi membina jati diri kelelakian yang jempol.

Ibu bapa perlu mengawasi apakah yang dipelajari anak mereka di sekolah. Nilai-nilai moral yang diterima anak mereka perlu dipantau.

Mampukah anak mereka membezakan antara nilai yang dianggap baik dengan yang tidak?

Oleh kerana kepimpinan keluarga melibatkan kesemua unsur yang dimiliki setiap manusia iaitu akal, roh, kalbu dan fizikal, maka ilmu yang diperlukan juga haruslah merangkumi semua aspek penting itu.

Tugas mencabar ini tidak mungkin dapat dipikul jika fitrah semula jadi anak lelaki telah dicemari.

Siti Fauziana Hassan

--------------------------------------------

And all this would not be possible if the women of the society are taught how to support men in their role as the leader of the family and society. No one's talking of opression here or reducing women to second class status. But there are just certain things in life we have taken for granted and failed to see how, if we just work our roles well and understand each other, the world can be a better place.

Wallahua'lam.

Salam 'alaikum...

wow, can't believe I'm penning my third report for the internship. Only three months left.

Now, I know you probably wonder why I sound so anxious and excited to end this whole journey. For the record, I don't dislike this place. The people have been nothing but fab, Alhamdulillah, and I especially like the part where I get to meet people of every type and fashion.

It's just that I don't like the routine. I thought it was a matter of getting used to life as a working adult, but I find that I'll never adapt. Nonetheless it has been a productive work week, no wait, a productive work month! So many exciting things happening, fruitful projects, a happy and joyful fellow intern as company (look at photo) and the realisation of having a chic and funky Assisting Director as supervisor. :)




This was Nadia's and my maiden trip to the new PA HQ. I've been there more than once now and I'm kind of excited to watch it come alive. Seems like I have a thing with nolstagia; I'm too sappy :)

At the back of my mind, things come and go. But Alhamdulillah, previous trainig sessions and Usrahs have really helped me cope emotionally. And of course, not without the comfort and support of the lovely zauj (husband). If I had my way, I'd go up to the top of a cliff and shout to the whole world and tell everyone how much I love you. And how you really impress me when you hold my hand when you have a whole load of work burdening you. But Allah knows, insyaAllah. Allah knows. :)

I love you cutie! <3

I have another thing at the top of my head: I feel compelled to write. Not just writing like what I'm doing; in fact, I find I can't write coherently anymore. I need focus, which is lacking in my life at the moment, pray that Allah help me. Without focus and with the lack of energy, I find my writing more useless in the course of the da'wah I have always wanted to carry out. But nonetheless, I'm adamant to find my path. Have always been inspired by local writers and I find myself frequently putting people into my thoughts and imagining how I'd write about them.

While what I have in mind are short stories, I can't help but feel I will learn a lot of things by exploiting my faculties and penning something definite on paper. I feel my mind wanders too much and perhaps writing would put me at ease, as does prayer and self-reflection. Maybe seeing stories on paper may give me that control I yearn for over my life.

Why do I have this feeling I am being too paranoid with this? Again I am weak, extremely weak.

Allah hafidz. Definitely not one of my best days. May Allah lift me out of this tangible world and keep me awake, spirited, in the metaphysical one He belongs to.